the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
