I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We need a shit load of segways right now
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
