This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
