God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
