Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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