I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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