oh god the rape fog is back!
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
