I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize