why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
