Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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