apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
