It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
