if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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