Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
