I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
