I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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