I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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