We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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