Pappa wants mamma naked
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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