You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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