Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
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I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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