have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
