this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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