We tried having a conversation with our noses.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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