I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
