Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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