Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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