Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
