If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
