So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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