if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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