they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
