Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Randomize
