it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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