I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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