So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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