I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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