A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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