It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
