it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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