I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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