my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
