Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize