Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
