ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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