What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
