my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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