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Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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