I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
