i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
