What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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