did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Randomize
