an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
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You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
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Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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