There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
did i walk over a car last night?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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