I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
