I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize