sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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