Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
ok first of all what the fuck
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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