Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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