I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
