Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
They took my balls.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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