i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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