I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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