Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
