I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
