so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
