I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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