I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
